Funeral Home Insists Overseas Relatives be Notified

Cremation plans go awry...

Eleanore Moderski outlived everyone in her family - even her daughter - and when she passed away, someone had to carry out her pre-planned funeral arrangements.

That fell to Rita McDonald, a longtime friend who had been entrusted to make decisions on Moderski's behalf and to carry out the arrangements with Church and Chapel Funeral Home. But because the two were not related, problems quickly arose regarding Moderski's wishes to be cremated.

First, McDonald had to track down Moderski's relatives because under the law a person's body becomes the legal property of the next of kin.

At the time, McDonald had only met one of Moderski's nephews, Joseph Moderski, who was willing to sign the necessary paperwork. Joseph Moderski gave McDonald and the funeral home contact information for his two sisters and another one of Moderski's nieces living in Florida. They, too, were willing to sign.

Nevertheless, McDonald said employees at the funeral home told her there were known relatives living in Poland that needed to sign as well, and until they had those signatures, they would be uncomfortable cremating Moderski's remains.

That created a frustrating delay.

"All it takes is a whisper that there's a family member here or there," said Ted Larsen, owner of Church and Chapel. "What happens if a long-lost son surfaces in 10 years?"

The dispute over Moderski's wishes played out after her death in 2005.

Though a 2008 state law change makes it easier for non-relatives to carry out someone's wishes, with a simple notarized document, funeral directors say confusion remains - underlining the need to put clear, specific plans in writing before you die.

At the core of the confusion: You can grant power- of-attorney to a person to make decisions on your behalf, but that ends with your death, according to funeral directors.

"Funeral homes have really been in a rock and a hard place on this issue," said Mark Krause, president of Krause Funeral Homes, who eventually cremated Moderski's remains.

Sequence of events

McDonald, a childhood friend of Eleanore Moderski's daughter, Audrey, took power of attorney - the legal power to act on someone else's behalf - for both Eleanore and Audrey, when Audrey's health started to go. Audrey Moderski died in April 2003.

That's when McDonald transferred Eleanore Moderski's pre-planning arrangements and funds from Max A. Sass & Sons Funeral Home to Church and Chapel Funeral Home, where Moderski felt more comfortable. At the pre-planning meeting with Church and Chapel, McDonald signed a contract - on Moderski's behalf - that included cremation, a newspaper notice and prayer cards for a memorial service.

The contract McDonald signed was the same type of agreement Public Investigator wrote about last month, in a case where 91-year-old Julia Lukasik pre-planned her funeral and was later told by Church and Chapel that the contract couldn't be honored in its entirety.

According to McDonald, no one at Church and Chapel mentioned that power of attorney would stop when Eleanore died, nor did they mention signatures of all next of kin would be required.

When Moderski died on a Monday in January 2005, McDonald was out of town. Church and Chapel picked up Moderski's remains and on Tuesday, McDonald worked out the details of the death notice over the phone.

Confusion over cremation

In the next week, several calls back and forth left McDonald confused over cremation policies and feeling helpless as her friend's body was stored at the Milwaukee County medical examiner's office.

Church and Chapel stood by their assertion, McDonald said, that Moderski had overseas relatives who needed to sign off on the plans.

According to Joseph Moderski, his aunt and all her sisters were born and lived most their lives in Milwaukee - relatives from Poland were a mystery to both McDonald and him.

"(Church and Chapel) had no right, they had absolutely no right not to fulfill their part of the contract," McDonald said. "And then to come up with this cockamamie story about relatives in Poland."

More than a week after Moderski's death, McDonald carried out the memorial service at the Clement Manor Chapel, where she had lived - with no death notice, no memorial prayer cards and no remains.

After the service, McDonald contacted Krause Funeral Home to see if they could take care of cremating Moderski. Within two days, the signatures of the known next of kin - those provided by McDonald - were secured and cremation was complete.

Larsen said Moderski's case came to them before they expanded their Brookfield location to include refrigeration units and their own crematory. At the time, they were using an outside crematory vendor, which explains why Moderski's remains had to be stored at the medical examiner's office.

It has always been practice for a funeral director to make a reasonable effort to find the next of kin and obtain signatures authorizing the cremation of their family member, said James Olson, president of Lippert-Olson Funeral Home in Sheboygan and member of the National Funeral Directors Association.

However, after three days since the time of death, the funeral director has the legal right to do what they see fit, Olson said.

Nevertheless, many homes take a cautious approach.

That makes getting the copy of your wishes notarized even more important. On that form, individuals can indicate the people, in order, they want to be responsible for making decisions regarding deposition of their body.

Larsen said his pre-planning agents now use this document with people who have few or no living relatives.

How to prepare your plans

James Olson, president of Lippert-Olson Funeral Home and member of the National Funeral Directors Association, offers these tips when pre-planning a funeral:

• Get the proper documentation. When pre-planning, you have the right to list individuals responsible for making decisions regarding disposition of your body on a notarized form. If you've already pre-planned and have few or no living relatives, go back and add this form.

• Prearrange your own funeral. Don't leave all funeral decisions up to your loved ones, as emotions can be amplified during the grieving period.

• Shop around. Funerals have high costs and homes are obligated to share itemized price lists with all consumers. Make sure you get the services and products you want.

• Get information. The National Funeral Directors Association can be reached at (262) 789-1800 and toll-free at 800-228-6332.

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