Funny Tombstone Sayings

In a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist,
All dressed up and no place to go.


On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle,
Age 102.
Only The Good Die Young.


In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid,
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767


In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast...
Pardon me for not rising.

Funny Saying on Headstone

Born 1903--Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
car was on the way down. It was.

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.


On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God


In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing
on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent...
Until I know which way you went.

Witty Headstone Quotes

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.


In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.


A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
and that is Strange.


John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.


In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went
out of tune.